Another Day in the Life of the Torchwood Team?
by ilazbotron
Summary: When an awesomely cool monster falls out of the Rift, it's up to the team to save Cardiff. But is this just another monster? My first multi-chapter fanfic. Rated T for some swearing *cough* *Owen!* *cough*. And is that some Janto I see? Please review!
1. Prologue

_This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fanfiction, so a warning in advance, I'm going to be so bad at updating... And yes, I know the chapter is really short. Sorry!_

_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. If I did, then...well...let's just say that the plotline of CoE would have turned out very differently. *shakes fist* You were just jealous of Ianto, Russel T. Davies! How dare you kill him off! Grrr..._

_Anyway, on with the show!_

Prologue

A soft breeze wafted into the room, ruffling the flowers sitting in a jar on the windowsill. The mobile hanging over the small cot tinkled and the small plastic figures swayed in the draft. The eyelids of the sleeping toddler fluttered, and she rolled over in her sleep. Suddenly, there was a small 'pop' noise and a glowing orange-gold light filled the small room. A figure began to materialise in the shining light, tall and muscly. The sparkling light reflected in the eyes of the now wide awake toddler, who was clinging unsteadily to the side of the cot. As the light began to dissipate, the figure gradually became clearer. It was roughly the size of a man, but...not. The creature's eyes were small and black, like deadly marbles, glistening in the dissolving light. It's greyish brown skin was rough and covered in what looked like bruises and cuts and the thing wore a rough hessian-like fabric shift. As the last dregs of the light wisped gently off the foul creature's hands, the room was again thrown into darkness. The child was now aware of something clomping towards her in the blackness. She could hear the heavy, raspy breathing and smell the disgusting smell of the monster's breath as it inched towards her...there was a loud crack and then the sound of running feet down the hallway...

**_Author's Ramblings:_**

_Sooooo...what did you think? What's that? I can't hear you...so you'd better send me a review! :D_

_Please review! And thank-you for reading. I love you all! Chapter 1 should be up soon._


	2. Sunday Mornings

_Hey! Would you look at that! I wrote another whole chapter!_

_Just thought that the world requires just a little more Janto :D_

_If you're still reading after that impressively short prologue, thank-you! I promise that this chapter is a little longer!_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own TW. At all...not even a tiny microscopic particle of it. *sobs*_

Chapter 1: Sunday Mornings

Ianto woke up to a soft thudding noise. He blinked away the sleep-dust from his eyes and the room slowly came into focus. As his eyes adjusted to the bright light he became aware of his surroundings. His head was on Jack's chest...the thudding noise was his heartbeat. Ianto could see the blue, cloudless sky through the open window and a gentle gust of wind tousled his hair. As he moved to get up, Jack began to stir.

"...mmmmph...light...bright...need...coffee..." he mumbled drowsily through his curtain of sleep.

Ianto smiled. Typical Jack. Of course coffee was the first thing running through his head when he woke up. Coffee practically ran through his veins. He glanced at the clock. 6.54 am. _Not bad,_ he thought. _Considering that I didn't get home until 2 am last night_...Jack had made the Torchwood team run their annual cleanup and inventory. Turns out, there were a lot of files that weren't logged and catalogued, and Ianto being Ianto just had to stay and log them all. Jack had laughed at him, but he did stayed with him until he had finished (although he was more of a distraction), and helped him put the (very heavy) boxes away. _Although,_ he considered carefully, _that might have been just so he could show off his...very well developed...arm muscles._ Then, at 2 am they had headed back to Ianto's flat, heated up some leftover takeout and then collapsed, fast asleep.

Jack continued to wake up, slowly. He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. Then, looking at Ianto, then out the window, then back at Ianto, he smiled.

"Hey...teaboy...get me some coffee!"

When Ianto continued to sit there and say nothing, still as a statue and staring flatly at him, Jack reached forward and gently gibbsslapped him. Ianto shook his head gently, as though the sleepiness would fall out of his ears like drops of water after you've been in a swimming pool.

"Mmmm? I didn't hear you, sorry..." Ianto looked sheepishly at Jack. "After being up so late, my brain is sleeplogged...What did you say?"

"Nothing...I just need some coffee. But, I figured, you might have worked that out by now...So...are you making me some?" Jack smiled impishly. Ianto groaned and heaved himself out of bed. Jack had a way of being able to wrap him around his little finger.

"Yes..._sir_." Ianto shuffled out of the room and into the small kitchen of his flat. On the table were the remnants of last night's rushed meal. He cleared the plates away and threw the takeaway containers into the bin. His kitchen was clean...as was most of his flat. He spent so much time at Torchwood that the Hub was more of a home to him than this tiny unit. However, at home he had one thing better at home than at the Hub...his coffee machine. As he switched it on, it whirred happily and little lights winked at him, greeting him like an old friend. He opened one of the cupboards and pulled out two mugs, placing them next to the machine. Then, he walked over to the fridge and opened the door. It was mostly empty...except for an ancient tub of butter, some bread and a few plastic takeaway containers with mouldy contents. _And the milk,_ he thought. _If it's one thing Ianto Jones never runs out of, it's milk and coffee beans. Okay. Two things._ The little machine grinded and gurgled as he made the coffee, pouring it into the cups and adding the froth in a way that made a neat little leaf in the foam.

Ianto ambled lazily back into the bedroom. Jack was now sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over to tie up his boots.

"Wow...you woke up quickly, considering that you haven't had your usual 2 cups of coffee...is everything ok?" Ianto feigned a look of mock concern.

Jack sighed exaggeratedly. Ianto was now grinning cheekily. He was the only one that could say anything like that to Jack, especially so early in the morning, without getting a very fierce death stare or their butt kicked in reply. Ianto handed the coffee over and sat next to him on the bed, leaning companionably against his shoulder. For a while the two sat there, looking out the window at the early morning Cardiff. Occasionally, there was a soft slurp-y sound as they drank the coffees.

"Well, I suppose we'd better get going, Ianto. You can bet that now we've done inventory and cleanup, we're going to get there and Owen's gone and stuffed it up...or there's been a freak accident involving a Weevil and a garbage truck..."

"Mmm. If Owen has mucked up my hours of cataloguing I'm going to kill him. Seriously. Either that...or lock him in a cell with a hungry Weevil. Not the one involved in an accident with a garbage truck though...I'd make him clean the mess up. Hang on. Why exactly at 7 am on a Sunday morning are we going into work?"

"Tosh called while you were making the coffee. There's was a huge surge in Rift activity early this morning. Figured that we should probably go in today and check it out. Who knows, it might have been something really small...I just hope it's not a Weevil. That would suck...getting up so early for a Weevil. Anyway, you coming?"

Ianto chuckled to himself as he put on one of his favourite suits, complete with red-and-black striped tie that Jack had given him.

"What?" Jack was confused. Massive rift activity. How is that funny? Why was he laughing? "What's so funny, this early on a Sunday? What...what? Have I got a foam moustache? Is it huge? Hideous? Do I suddenly have a massive lump or something on my face?" Now worried about his looks being ruined, Jack started to get up to check his face in the mirror. Ianto put out a hand and stopped him.

"It's not a foam moustache. Just, as if it's going to be anything tame as a Weevil. Having experience as a Torchwood agent...it's not going to be anything tame. It's like fate hates us getting any time off at all."

"Oh. Is that it?" Jack let out a excessively relieved sigh. "Actually, you're probably right. Come on. I'm not that worried about being late. I'm the boss. They can't get mad at me for being late! I'd kick their butts. But you, on the other hand. Anyway, I've got all day...so it doesn't matter if you're not ready to go yet." No response. "Ianto?"

"Yes? I'm almost ready, hang on like 5 seconds and we're gone..." The words came out muffled. Probably because of the toothbrush in his mouth while he was tying his shoes. And that he was in the bathroom... and words are normally muffled through a wall.

Ianto finished brushing his teeth in the tiny bathroom. Rinse, gargle, spit.

"Come on! I'm ready. Let's go. And don't say that it doesn't matter if we're late because you're the boss, and they can't fire you, blah blah blah. Because they wouldn't dare tell you off or anything, sure. But one of my main purposes in life is to be there before anyone else. Or at least before Owen and Gwen. And to make sure that Owen doesn't touch my filing cabinets. So hurry up!"

And with that, they left the small flat and walked hurriedly down the street leading to the Torchwood Hub. True, Ianto's walk was more of a slow run, and Jack's walk was more of a saunter, but they were walking all the same.

**_Author's Ramblings:_**

_Aah. Nothing I love more than a bit of Janto._

_And did anyone else pick up that the title is a Maroon 5 song? Cos I didn't realise at the time...oops. Did you like this chapter? Because of my impressive lack-of-planning skill (Seriously. I don't even plan for essays and extended responses in exams.) this story could go anywhere. Suggestions? Comments? Praise? Please review me! :D To all of you still reading, I love you! (in a non-creepy way...) If you review...I will be eternally grateful!_


	3. Oh, damn! The reader must be broken!

_Oh, wow. A third instalment! I'm impressed with myself! Are you? Review! *buahahaha*_

_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Sadly. Nothing._

Chapter 2: "Oh, damn. The reader must be broken!"

Tosh stretched back in her chair and yawned. She was in the Hub early, because she had been hoping to come in and finish off any filing left over from last night. Also, she'd had a funny feeling that someone had been meddling around in her files. But she'd got here at 5.20 am and it was all done. _Ianto and Jack were probably here until some ungodly hour this morning finishing this lot off, _she thought. _Well, Jack probably wasn't doing much._ This much was true. Jack had hovered around Ianto, pestering him to leave it so they could go home and sleep (well, he said sleep...), and demanding countless cups of coffee. Then, she checked the logs to see who accessed the team's files recently. No-one else but the team...and as if the team would poke around in their files. Unless they had a really, really good reason. So Tosh, not wanting to waste her getting up early, checked the Rift monitors. Everything on the monitors seemed to be normal, until the data for about 3.30 that morning. Something massive had fallen through the Rift. It was either one huge thing, or a whole lot of Weevils. Normally, she would have waited until a more reasonable hour to call everyone and wake them up, but the spike in activity was so large that the computer popped up with an error warning.

As she sat there, there was the sound of footsteps. The door opened and Jack and Ianto came in. Jack looked wide awake and gave Tosh his 'I'm-the-leader-so-tell-me-what-the-hell-is-going-on-and-why-the-hell-did-you-wake-me-up' face. Ianto had dark rings under his eyes and coupled with the bad light and disgruntled look on his face, looked positively murderous.

"What the hell is going on, Tosh?"

"Um. Well, good morning, firstly. And I'm sorry that I woke you up...but this looked really important. At about half-past-three this morning there was a massive energy spike...like, hugely massive. A whole planet's worth of Weevils massive. And I thought that well, if it was a whole planet of Weevils you might like to know..." Her voice trailed off.

Jack was thinking. You could tell, from the way he furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. When Tosh had first started at Torchwood, she thought that that was him getting angry. So had everyone else, apparently.

"Well, although I am really mad at being woken up at this ridiculous hour," Tosh flinched, slightly. Jack gave a smirk and continued "...I think that you showed good judgement. This is a huge spike, and I personally hope that it wasn't a whole planet-load of Weevils. It had better be something awesome, that warrants me getting up so early."

Jack smiled at his own joke and turned to face Ianto, saying as he turned "Hey, Ianto. What do you think it is?" But Ianto wasn't standing close by anymore. He'd gone off to check on his coffee machine and make himself a very, very strong espresso. Jack guessed as much, and turned back to Tosh, who had already started running checks of all kinds on this strange energy spike.

"Okay, Tosh. Have you called Owen and Gwen yet?" When Tosh shook her head, Jack grinned cheekily and pulled out his mobile. "Well, considering that we're up so early, it'd be nice to extend the pleasure to our dear friends." He could see Tosh laughing to herself in the reflection off the computer screen.

Punching in Owen's number, he put the phone up to his ear, and when a sleepy Owen answered, put on a ridiculously cheerful voice. "Hey, wake up, sleepyhead! Work is awaiting you on this fine morning! Who _is_ it? How could you not know who this is? How much _did_ you drink yesterday? Why, it's none other than you friendly, cheerful boss. Now get to work. I don't care how tired you are. Your fault. See you in fifteen minutes." Without waiting for a reply, he hung up.

As he called Gwen, he leaned over Tosh's shoulder to read the results of the tests she'd run. "...Definitely one life-form. Jesus, it's huge! What the hell is that?...Oh, good morning, Gwen. Yeah. Sorry to wake you, but you've got to come in. There's a monster on the loose. Yep, we're sure that it's not an oversized Weevil. Yes, we're going to need you. As soon as possible. Okay, see you in a bit."

About 20 minutes later a disgruntled Owen came through the door, holding a piece of toast and running his free fingers through his hair. "What the hell was so important that you had to wake me up on my day off? If it's a Weevil, just shoot it, cos I don't give a shit. Really." When Jack gave him a disapproving look and made a 'tut tut' noise, he protested. "It's 7 am! On a Sunday! What did you expect? I know that I'm grumpy anyway...now, what exactly is it that we're dealing with...Hey, Tosh." As he smiled sleepily at Tosh and then looked at the printout of her tests, shaking his head ("What the shit is this? It's freaking massive! The reader must be broken!"), Jack called out to Ianto.

"Hey, Ianto! Make us some coffee. And make Owen's really, super strong."

"Okay...is he here already? Oh, joy. I'm sure that he's cheerful. Want me to put some sedatives in?" floated back to Jack from the kitchen.

Jack chuckled to himself as Gwen came in.

"Oh, hello. Having a good morning?"

"Bloody brilliant. There is nothing I _love_ more than work on my day off."

"Aah, come on. You know you actually do, under all that sarcasm. And it's the joy of looking at my beautiful face that keeps you coming back every day, right?" She gave him a sarcastic smile and went to take the sheet of test results off Owen.

"Coffee, everyone?" Ianto came up the stairs slowly, holding the silver tray dedicated to holding the coffee cups. There was one set aside from the rest. Ianto put the tray gently on the table, without spilling a drop of his precious coffee. He pointed to the lone cup. "That one's Owen's." Jack lifted an eyebrow at him, and he winked. He handed everyone else their coffee, and as they sipped the boiling hot liquid, Owen and Gwen fighting like a pair of small children over the printout of the test results. Jack went over and snatched the sheet. For a while, there was relative order.

As the computer beeped and a document popped up on the screen, Tosh went over to it and clicked 'Print'.

"What's that?"

"Just some further tests I ran on the energy. I'm hoping that we can determine what kind of alien-monster-thing it is."

Then Jack said "Okay. Team meeting in 10 minutes. In the meeting room."

Owen sighed. "Well, duh, Jack. Where else are we going to have a meeting?"

As he walked away, Jack gibbsslapped Owen fairly hard with his coffee cup.

"What the hell was that for! I haven't done anything today! What the hell!"

"Yes, that's exactly the reason." Jack grinned and headed off to the meeting room.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_I love the Torchwood team. I think that I've got the characters mostly right. Has anyone got any ideas for the monster's name? I am so tempted to call it Owen (hee hee) but I want a really cool sounding name, in like Latin or something. I think I'm going to look up cool Latin words in our Latin dictionary and just make it some random awesome ones thrown together! And any plot ideas, still. Please review! I love reviews! Even if it's bad feedback. I won't eat you! A massive thank-you to you all for reading. It makes me happy :D_


	4. Owen's Shirt

_Oh, wow! A fourth instalment! Mmhmm! That's right. I'm actually turning out to be better at this multi-chapter thing than I thought! *grins*_

_And there is some swearing in this chapter...but it is Owen after all. Anyway, little children, cover your eyes :D_

_Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. Unless I kidnapped Russel. T. Davies and forced him to hand over the rights to TW...hey...that's not a bad idea...lols, jokes._

**Chapter 3: Owen's Shirt**

The team gradually filed into the meeting room, Ianto holding yet another tray of coffees. He put it down gently on the table, and sank into a chair opposite Jack. Jack smiled at him, and opened his mouth to say something when Owen slumped in.  
"Jesus, I hate meetings. Waste of valuable time, if you ask me. I bet that the monster's gonna end up being some stupid little kitten or something." He noticed the coffees on the table. "Excellent. More caffeine. Hey, Ianto, which one's the strongest?"

Ianto pointed to one cup. The coffee in question was the darkest on the tray, with barely any milk and a spoon in. As Owen took a large sip, the boiling hot spoon hit slid round the side of the cup and bumped him in the mouth. Owen quickly pulled the cup away from his mouth.

"Jesus! What the shit was that? Why the hell didn't you take the fucking spoon out, you moron? Ouch!"

Ianto looked at him and smiled. Owen immediately became suspicious. "What? What are you smiling about?"

He looked down at his shirt. There was a dark brown stain on the clean blue fabric.

"What the hell! Oh, my God! That's a new shirt! Fuck!" Uttering various expletives, he left the room to go change his shirt.

As Owen left, Gwen and Tosh came in. Gwen turned and watched Owen stomp down the corridor.

"What's up with him? He realise that shirt's girly and screams 'gay guys, come and hit on me!'" Gwen shook her head. "Idiot."

While Gwen and Jack discussed the monster, Ianto's coffee and Owen's choice in shirts, Tosh hooked her laptop up to the projector. A complicated series of graphs and tables filled the screen. As the they all took their seats, Owen coming back in with a scowl on his face and wearing one of the shirts from the medical scrubs.

"Right, people...Owen? Why are you wearing scrubs? Is there a dead body that I didn't know about?" Jack looked genuinely confused.

"I couldn't find my spare shirt...'cos I can't find the key to my locker. It's at home. On my dining room table. So I found this." He crossed his arms defensively and glared at the rest of the team, who were laughing silently.

"Owen...here." Tosh pushed a small silver key across the table.

"What's this?"

"It's the spare key for the lockers. You should be able to use it to get in." As Owen smiled gratefully at her, she blushed and looked back at her laptop.

"Well, I ran lots of tests on the mysterious energy spike, and I pinpointed the time that whatever it is fell out of the Rift to 3.32 and 5 seconds this morning. The computer ran the likely species to cause a spike this large and it narrowed it down to a few hundred thousand. Of those, it is still running further diagnostics to further narrow it down, you know, excluding extinct species, stuff like that."

"So we don't know what it is?" Jack was now thinking again. Ianto spoke up for the first time in the meeting.

"No, I think Tosh is saying that it could be one of a few hundred thousand things." He smiled. "And that, until there are any sightings or we can pinpoint where it fell out, we are really just guessing. Who wants more coffee?" He collected up the cups onto his tray.

"Yeah. Well, if we're just waiting around for other people to do our work, I'm going to go put a shirt on." Owen started to go towards the door with Ianto when two things happened.

First, Tosh's laptop, which she had just disconnected from the projector, started beeping and flashing. She sat down and started typing into it and her face lit up. She was about to say something when secondly, Jack's phone rang.

"Harkness. What? Where?" His face went deadpan and he sighed, stroking an invisible goatee on his chin. "Ok...how old? What? Did they get a description? What's the address?" He motioned for Ianto to hand him some paper. Ianto reached into his coat pocket and drew out a small notepad and a pen. He handed them over and Jack leaned over and scribbled on the page. "Mmm. Mmhmm. We'll be there as soon as we can, of course. Okay. Thanks, bye."

Turning to face the now interested team, Jack held the paper up to his eyes. "There's been a murder. A small child.."-Here the team collectively had a sharp intake of breath. Dealing with the death of children was one of the worst parts of their job.-"The address is... (he strained to read the page)..."

"125 Smith Street, Cardiff." The address was spoken in unison.

Tosh and Jack looked at each other.

"Wait. How did you know that, Tosh? You're on the other side of...the...room..." You could practically see the cogs turning in Jack's mind. Then, suddenly, his eyes lit up. "Were you running a locator scan?"

"Yes...and that address pinpointed that as the location where the monster fell out of the Rift..."

"Right!" Jack clapped his hands. "No, there's no time to change, Owen. Well, actually, considering that you're in a foul mood already, go! Quickly! Everyone else...to the SUV! Tosh, can you grab the kits? Ianto, we can get coffee on the way." Ianto smiled, rubbing his eyes.

And as the team headed towards the SUV, Jack wondered what on Earth (or not on Earth, as the case probably was) could cause an energy spike and then kill an innocent child. Something vicious and cruel...and it was up to them to save the city from it.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_Lols. Burn got burned! ;D Well, as a writer I just wanted Owen to feel some PAIN! (kidding. Someone had to be burned and, well...his name is __Burn__, after all. He's the obvious choice) Hehe...did you like this chapter? Really? Well, I'll know if you review! I promise that the awesomely cool monster will come in soon! If you review! Kidding. Lols. Hehe. (It almost has a name now). And I'm sorry about the clich__é__ street name, I'm Australian! So...never been to Cardiff...:D And ! to all those lovely people who reviewed! You are the best! ;LuvU! And to all of you reading, ! I love you all! Reviews make me fuzzy on the inside :D Oh, and BTW my updating might get a bit wonky because we have yearlies...damn whoever invented exams. Curse you! *shakes fist*. So, yeah. I'll try ;S_


	5. I'll never look at pizza the same way

_Omg! You're still reading! I love you! (non-creepily though...hehe) You know what I also love? Reviews! :D_

_Um...there is slight gore and some swearing in this chapter...heh. (10 points to you if you guessed that it was Owen! But actually Gwen swears the most in this chapter. So 10 __**million**__ points if you guessed her!) So, yeah...squeamish? My advice? Maybe skip some of this chapter...lines 16-19, in case you were wondering. And another warning. You too, may never look at pizza the same way again. Especially if the cheese has the tomato-y topping on it. Hehe._

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Torchwood. Even though I'd like to..._

**Chapter 4:** "I'll never look at pizza the same way again."

From the back seat of the SUV, Owen sighed. "Shit. I hate children. Well, I don't hate children. I hate cases involving children. Especially cases involving aliens and children."

"Yeah, Owen, I think everyone feels that way." Jack, from the front passenger seat. He was giving Ianto directions as there had been a traffic jam. Even though Ianto didn't need them, he sat silently, concentrating on the road.

When they arrived, there were a few police cars parked outside the house, which was two-storeyed, red bricked and expensive-looking. As they got out of the car and walked towards the house, there was some glass on the ground, surrounded by police tape and little yellow markers with numbers on them. Ianto looked up. The glass was from one of the second-floor windows, which looked as though something large had smashed through it, then landed on the ground below. The glass shards glistened in the weak sun, and some of them, Ianto noticed, had what looked like dark red (he would have thought it black, if the sun wasn't shining on them and illuminated the deep red), sticky blood.

"Hey, Owen. Why don't you swab those shards. It might help if we're trying to identify the...whatever it was that fell out of the Rift." Ianto handed him the silver crime scene suitcase.

As Owen used a cottonbud to collect some of the blood (_if that's what it is..._thought Ianto), it clung onto the cottonbud and made thin strands as he pulled it away from the glass.

"Hey, this reminds me of cheese on a pizza." Owen sighed hungrily. He hadn't had breakfast, and the two coffees that he'd had so far today had done little to fill his stomach.

"That...is disgusting. I will never look at a pizza without thinking of weird alien blood goop again." Ianto shot Owen a disgusted look and followed the others into the house.

Stepping inside the first thing that struck the team was how...expensive the inside looked. The hallway was long, and led to the set of mahogany stairs at the end of an pricey-looking rug. As they walked into the living room, they could see the parents, sitting on the lounge.

"Well," said Jack, as Owen came in, complaining about the gravel hurting his knees.. "I think that Owen and Gwen, go check the body and take forensics from the scene...Tosh, go and scan the area for energy readings, then go and help the others at the scene. Ianto..." here he gave a smile, "You'll be helping me interview the parents."

As Owen and Gwen approached the nursery where the murder had happened, they noticed their police buddy Andy was guarding the doorway, and as they showed their ID's (not that they needed to, it was out of habit) and opened the door, he said, "Oh, good, you're here. Well, I'll just...leave you to it. Good luck with this one..." He tried a smile, shuddered, and walked away. As the door swung open, they could see why he didn't want to hang around. The body of a small child lay on the floor, covered in blood. The abdomen had been slashed open, the organs were cut, and there was blood. Lots of blood. Gwen retched slightly and turned her head away.

"Oh...fuck! That is gross! Shit, shit, shit, shit!"

"Don't worry too much. This is sickening. Even for me. And I've seen disgusting things...so if you want to go and wait outside, it's okay." Owen smiled at Gwen.

"Nope. It's okay. I'm just...its' a child. Yep. A child. Just...a child. Fuck!" She swallowed, rubbing her forehead, and took a deep breath. "Let's just...get it over with."

As Owen worked on the body, Gwen got some swabs of the sticky, dark red blood off the side of the child's cot and off the glass still in the window. There were some muddy footprints leading from near the cot to the window, and there were some strange scorch marks in the carpet, near where the footprints started.

"Owen...come and have a look at this." Gwen was avoiding turning around, in case she was sick. Then, she heard the scratchy noise of a zipper being closed, and she figured it was the body-bag, so she faced him as she asked, "Was it raining early this morning?"

"No," said Owen curiously as he got up and peeled off his bloodstained gloves. "Why?" He walked over, crouched down and looked at where Gwen was pointing on the floor.

"There's mud on the floor here...well, I think...it's mud. And these funny scorch marks here, on the carpet. What are these?"

"Well, that is mud. And no, it wasn't raining earlier this morning. I think that we could safely say that this is where whatever it is fell out of the Rift. See how the footprints start here and lead to the window?"

"Yeah, but could whatever it was have climbed in through the window?" Gwen was thinking.

"No." said Tosh, from the doorway. She had her scanner out, and the little blue light on the top was flashing and it was softly beeping. "Well, I mean, Gwen's theory does have a good point. But see how the toe marks face towards the window? It's feet were facing the window, so it had to have fallen out of the Rift here."

She continued to scan the room. "And the energy reading I'm picking up is the highest here. The little burn marks on the carpet are from the Rift energy, most likely."

Owen was scraping the mud off the floor into a little tube, so it could undergo analysis later, back in the Hub. Gwen and Tosh stood at the window, trying to predict where the monster had escaped to.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Jack and Ianto were seated on the lounge, facing the distraught parents.

"Now, I know this is very hard for you, but can you tell us what happened. In as much detail as possible, please." Jack asked in his most gentle 'I'm-interrogating-someone-after-a-traumatic-event' voice on, and Ianto had his little notepad out and was taking notes.

The mother spoke up first. She was relatively beautiful, with blonde hair and brown eyes. She was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, and sniffled before she spoke. When she did speak, even through her tears, her voice was one of someone who has had a classy education at an exclusive private school. "Do we really have to go through this again? We told the police everything that happened, before!" Her voice quavered, but she managed to hold her composure.

"Yes, but we're not police." _Oh, if only I had a dollar for every time I had to say that_...thought Jack.

"Yes, I suppose you aren't. Well, it was about 3.30 am, and we heard a strange noise coming from Sarah's room."

"Sarah was your daughter's name, yes?" Ianto asked, gently.

The mother nodded, tears running down her face. She continued with her story. "It was a kind of, well...swirly noise. You know, like the wind in the trees, except, well, more liquid, like...I don't know. It's very hard to describe." Jack smiled encouragingly at her.

"Don't worry too much about the noise, just keep telling us what happened."

"Um, then we heard the most appalling sound. It was a kind of snarly, growly sound, like a dog, but worse, and then..." She stopped, unable to continue.

The father, who had up until then been silent, put his arm protectively around his wife's shoulders. He, too, had the same posh accent of a wealthy upbringing. "Then we heard Sarah scream. The most awful scream. Simply dreadful. So we got up, and rushed down the hallway. The door to her room was closed, and we could see a strange kind of light...it wasn't the light that came from her nightlight. Anyway, her nightlight was off, because the bulb had run out. This light kind of...wisped...and it was orange. No, gold. Or a combination of the two. Like, um, a kind of goldy-orange..." He rambled on for a bit until Jack cleared his throat softly.

"Yes. Well, then I opened the door. And, well, you saw what was there." Here his voice faltered.

"So you didn't see anything? Any kind of person...or otherwise?" Ianto had his pen poised, ready to capture a description.

The man took a few seconds to compose himself and steady his voice. "We saw a... (here the father dropped his voice)...a _monster._ It was huge, and dark. I thought it was a human at first, because of the dark. The light had gone by then. Then, it turned around, and we saw its face in the dim light from the hallway lamp. It was tall, and roughly the size of a really muscly man...it's skin was a dark black-brown and it was covered in what looked like scratches. I think. They might have been bumps. It was dark." He shrugged apologetically. His wife continued.

"And it's eyes. They were black. The whole way through. No white. Not even the edges...they were glistening in the light. They looked like shiny stones, or black marbles. Full of evil...and that was when we knew for sure that it wasn't human. It saw us, and looked at us, then it jumped out through the window. I rushed over to see where it went, but it was either fast, or stuck to the shadows. Then, we came downstairs and called the police. Well, David called the police. I was in hysterics...and then the police turned up. And asked us questions. The officers seemed rather reluctant to go upstairs. When they did, I heard one of them call to the other. 'Hey, Ben, call Torchwood. This doesn't look human to me.' And then you turned up...and here we are." She buried her head in her husband's chest, and began to cry.

"Can we stop now? We have answered all of your questions and I think that me and my wife would like to call our family."

"Okay. Thank-you for your time. I appreciate how hard this is, for both of you, and I give you our deepest sympathies." Ianto smiled at the couple, and got up and walked out to find the others upstairs.

"And, if you remember anything else, just call the police station and ask for Captain Harkness. They'll put you through to me." Jack got up and headed upstairs. By now, the small body was in a black zipped-up bag, and all that was left of the horrific scene was a large pool of blood in the carpet. Gwen, Tosh, Owen and Ianto were standing by the window, discussing the monster.

"...the results come back, we'll be able at least to tell what species it is. That is, if it's on the system. If not, we should be able to narrow it down considerably." Tosh was saying.

As Jack crossed the threshold of the room, they all turned. "Okay, guys. Put the body in the SUV. You've got all the forensics you need, I trust?" They nodded. "Well, then, let's head back to the Hub."

Jack and Ianto carried the body-bag down the stairs, helped by Gwen, with Tosh and Owen following behind. As they passed the living room, the mother saw the body-bag and burst into tears. They left the grieving couple and Tosh closed the door behind them. On the way to the SUV, Owen's stomach rumbled loudly. Jack smiled cheekily and said, "Don't worry, Owen. I'm sure we can find some stale cereal or something for you." Tosh giggled and then blushed and said quickly, as Owen scowled at her, "Did you know that your stomach rumbles have a name? They're called borborygmus, I think. My cousin told me that when I was fourteen. She was studying medicine. Although, you're a doctor, so you probably knew that already. Come to think of it, I'm pretty hungry too. Mmm. I could really go for some lunch now."

"Tosh?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up about food. I'm hungry enough as it is."

As they climbed into the black SUV and drove off, Owen and Tosh continued to bicker about food.

"Oh, honestly, you two! You're like small children!" Ianto grumbled from the driver's seat.

Tosh and Owen stopped their fight to immediately attack Ianto.

"Childish, me? Who's the girly one wearing a pink shirt? And who was so grossed out at the thought of a dead body that they stayed downstairs until me and Gwen cleaned it up? You're the childish one!"

"Yes," said Ianto in a low threatening tone. "But who's the insensitive one? Remember the last time we were dealing with a dead person's family? You made the boyfriend practically suicidal with your report on the dead body, while he was in the room!"

"Yeah, well, you're...a sissy!" Owen said in a high-pitched, juvenile voice. He gave Ianto a black look and turned to stare out the window. Ianto smiled at him through the rear-vision mirror.

"You know, you are a bit girly sometimes, Ianto." Jack grinned at him. "But...if I'm the manly one, then that's probably a good thing." He winked at Ianto and they drove on in silence.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_Well, I thought that this story needed just a hint more Janto drabble. Wow, that chapter's long! And it only took me like half an hour to write! Hooray, ideas! I'm sorry about keeping you hanging with the awesomely cool monster-I need to figure out some finishing epic details. And come up with the name. I'm almost done, and it should come up in a few chapters. Also, I'm sorry about the gore...but it had to come in somewhere! And there might be a little more in later chapters...but I'll try and keep it to as minimal as possible. Also, did anyone get the DW reference? (line 61, in case you were wondering...the husband's name is David. As in David Tennant. Hehe.) And an obscure the Bill reference...I called one of the police officers Ben...hehe. Also, sorry to any British people reading this...I think that what Australians call 'private school' you guys call 'public school'? Idk. Hehe._

_Hehe...I really should be studying for my maths exam...but oh well...congruency (with reasoning) is booo-ring! :D_

_ to all those lovely people who reviewed this story so far! And to those of you who haven't...see the little speech bubble thingy with the link at the bottom of the page? I believe that's the review button! Click it and review! Please, review! Feedback and tips are welcomed! :D And to all of you reading this...you all are truly awesome!_


	6. Quite a surly fellow, isn't he?

_Oh yeah! Chapter 5 already! Mmhmm! *grins*_

_Oh, yeah, there is a little more gory stuff in this chapter...squeamish and still reading after last chapter? I'd recommend skipping lines 20-27...even though they aren't really that gross... :D_

_Warning: Owen is in this chapter...and we all know what that means...mild coarse language! Hehe._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I still, unfortunately, do not own Torchwood. Or their SUV. (Wouldn't that be an awesome car to drive around? I totally want one!)_

Chapter 5: "Surly fellow, isn't he? Quite temperamental."

Back at the Hub, Jack was talking to Owen and Tosh about the scans they had run on the mysterious blood. Owen was eating some toast with butter and drinking yet another cup of coffee.

"Well, it's definitely not human blood. Look, I'm not even sure if it is blood. The scans came up negative on the DNA database, but then again there are thousands of unknown species out there." He took another large bite of toast.

Tosh joined in the conversation. "Owen's right. Although it could be a related species. So I'm running further tests, and I printed out the DNA profile, in case we come across anything else that matches it. Hey, did you find anything unusual in the PM that might tell us what...features it has?"

"Mmm? Oh, like claws or teeth or whatever?" Owen's voice was muffled through a mouthful of toast. He walked over to Tosh's desk, upon which he had placed his autopsy notes. He flicked through the notes pinned to the clipboard and handed them to Tosh. "Page 5, I think."

She flipped through the pages until she found the 'likely weapons used/cause of death' pages. She read aloud from the report. "Hmm. Let's see...'Claws likely, probably 8-10 cm long. Alien DNA found in cuts, which suggests claws over knives or other weapons'...ect..." Yeah, I don't think that it was a knife either." Owen took another piece of toast from the plate resting on the keyboard of Tosh's computer. She sild the plate off the keyboard, glaring at Owen. He shrugged and took a large gulp of coffee.

"Well, that's helpful. An alien thing with claws. That must narrow it down heaps. To what, Ianto, several million species?" Ianto looked up, confused. He had just walked up to give Jack and Tosh a cup of coffee. Jack sighed. "Any other tests you can run?"

"Well...I'm actually running some now, and if Owen can think of any others then we'll run them."

Jack sighed again.

As they sat around, waiting for something to do and for Tosh's computer to finish the scans, swapping theories and occasionally glancing at Tosh's computer screen, which had various windows open, each filled with moving graphs, charts, tables or little 'scan in progress' bars.

Suddenly Gwen came running in from outside, where she had been taking a phone call.

"I've been on the phone with the police station. There's been another death."

As the team sprung into action, Ianto gestured to a coffee, saying "That's your one." She gulped it down and headed off to join the rest of the team in the SUV.

The black SUV pulled up outside a narrow alley off a side street, which was taped off with yellow crime scene tape. As they showed the officer their ID's and ducked under the tape as he held it up, motioning for them to proceed through, they could see a huddle of people around what was presumably the body. Gwen handed Owen the silver forensic case and Tosh had her scanner out, holding it up in all directions. Jack and Ianto were discussing what the monster could be, again. Jack then walked up to the crowd of people. They were police officers, some uniform, and some non-uniform. Gwen left Owen to take forensics of the blood trail-some was definitely human, some was that same sticky, red gloop. As Jack cleared the people away to get to the body, he turned his head away in disgust. The body looked much the same as the child's, however, being an adult, there was more blood. A pool of it surrounded the body and was trickling down the slightly sloped alley towards the gutter near the adjoining road. It was steadily dripping into the gutter, and Owen was crouched down taking samples.  
"Owen!," called Jack, "Leave the blood and get over here. Your medical expertise is required."

Owen groaned as he got up.

"What do you want? I'm working my way up here...oh, man!" He saw the body. "Not another one! As if my day wasn't turning to shit already..." He grumbled as he set to work on the corpse. Several of the higher-rank police officers turned and stared at this outburst. They stared at each other and had one of those conversations done entirely by body language. Something was negotiated between them and then, eventually one of them made his way over and watched Owen carefully for a while before speaking.

He then remarked "So there have been other...killings?"

Owen nodded. "This is the second body today."

"Second today?" The police officer took out his notebook.

Owen sighed under his breath. If it was one thing that he really hated (more than he hated everything else), it was people asking him questions while he was trying to concentrate. Usually, he told them to get lost, but last time he'd done that to a police officer, Jack had pulled him aside and told him to '...cut the attitude, Owen. They're trying to do their jobs too...' Well, that was the only part he had paid proper attention to. "Yes, the first was a child. Killed in her home."

Here the police officer made a soft noise of recognition. "Ah, yes. That case. Terrible stuff. We went to interview the parents later, and they mentioned that you had already questioned them. So, what did you think of the first murder?"

Owen tried to put on a neutral face and told the police officer in his politest 'piss off' tone "I'm the medical examiner. Captain Harkness, over there (he pointed to where Jack was talking to Tosh, 3 metres down the alley) did the interview. I was examining the crime scene. If you would like a copy of the notes, go see him for those as well."

The police officer seemed to recognise Owen's sullen look and over-politeness and stood up. He walked over to Jack, who waved Tosh away. Owen stopped his examination for a second to look at Jack. Jack gave him a 'what-did-you-say-to-him?-if-it-was-'get lost'-then-I'm-going-to-kill-you' look. Owen shrugged and made a 'nothing.-I-got-no-idea-what-he-wants' look in return. He turned back to the body, and continued to mark out the injuries on the information sheet.

Jack smiled in a friendly way at the police officer and stuck out his hand. "Captain Jack Harkness, Torchwood. What can I do for you?" Ianto noticed the smile from where he was standing, on the other side of the alley, and watched their conversation silently.

The police officer shook his hand and introduced himself. "Detective Inspector Neil Pepper. I'm part of the homicide squad. Even though the report patched through by the uniforms mentioned calling Torchwood to the scene, we thought that we'd check it out for ourselves."

Jack smiled again. "Yeah. Well, I think you've probably figured out that it's a Torchwood kind of murder, right? You know that there was-"

"-Another murder this morning, same MO? Yes. I've just been talking to your pathologist. Surly fellow, isn't he? Quite temperamental. Ah, well. He seems to be fairly good at his job, and I suppose that's all that counts. Some of our best pathologists are the same-quite antisocial bunch, aren't they?" Owen glowered at him from the end of the alley. "He told me to ask you for a copy of the medical report."

"Of course. I'll have it sent over this afternoon. Do you want the crime scene report too, and a copy of the transcript of the interview we conducted with the parents?"

DI Pepper nodded. "That would be excellent. Now, do you want my contact details?"

Jack saw Ianto on the other side of the alley, watching him like a hawk. He motioned for DI Pepper to follow him, and wandered over to Ianto. "Detective Inspector Pepper, this is Ianto Jones. He'll be happy to take your details and what files you would like sent over. I'm absolutely hopeless at knowing where our files are." He winked at Ianto, who raised an eyebrow and then focused his attention on the police officer.

As Jack talked to Tosh about the scene, Owen announced that he was finished, and that 'somebody better get over here and help me with this carcass!'. The non-uniform officers raised their eyebrows at each other again, and yelled at some uniform officers, who were standing around watching, to go and help out. Several of the uniform officers rushed over, and together they loaded it into the back of a police van, which they had borrowed to take it to the Hub. Taking this as a sign that they as a team were done, they climbed into the SUV, with Owen and Tosh in the police van and headed back to the Hub, leaving the nonplussed police officers behind to clean up the scene.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_Sorry if you don't speak Australian measurements. I think that 8-10 cm is about 3-4 inches (roughly). Still, long. And pointy. (ouch!) And that 3 metres is about 9 and a bit feet, or 4 yards :D_

_MO is Latin, I think, for modus operandi. (in case you didn't know) It's like the way you operate as a person, or the way you perform certain tasks. In this case, a murder. (Finally! A use for the crime-show knowledge I've picked up! ;D) I had no idea whatsoever to call the DI guy, so I called him Neil. (like DI Neil Manson, off the Bill. Hehe.) and Pepper (like Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Beatles album...even though he's a DI, not a sergeant. I just though the name Pepper was cool.) Hey, another relatively long chapter! :D When I originally wrote this, I made it heaps longer, but I split it up...hehe. It made like 3 chapters! To all you readers, ! And to all the awesome people who reviewed (especially TV-a-holic and AmberHarkness)...! You make me happy!_


	7. Ianto and the Monster!

_Oh, yeah! A 7__th__ instalment! Written in exam week! Oh, what an epic win!_

_Fangirl warning: this chapter may contain traces of mild Janto. Those with allergies should not consume this story._

_Hey...Owen actually doesn't swear in this chapter! I know, I was shocked too! *grins*_

_**Disclaimer:**__ oh, if only I owned the TW team...but I don't._

**Chapter 6:** "Ianto, more tender with a monster than with me? Impossible!"

Back at the Hub, the team was kept relatively busy for the rest of the day. Ianto made at least 3 more cups of coffee for everyone, Tosh compiled the results of her many scans and tests into a report to give to everyone the next day (it was close to 11 pm when she finished, and by that point everyone who wasn't Jack or Ianto had gone home), Gwen ran around checking details of the crime scenes, trying to match them and plotting where the monster would go next, or what would happen. Ianto spent the rest of the day annoying Owen over the files, then, having finally got them off his desk (Ianto hated Owen's desk. _It's so...messy, _he thought._ No filing system, or any kind of organisational system at all, that is recognisable to me..._) properly numbering them and entering them into the system, making copies and sending them over to DI Pepper. Owen was completing the autopsy on the second victim, and then tried (with Tosh's help) to find anything connecting the victims (other than the fact they were both dead, and killed by a strange alien monster). Jack hung around, demanding coffees and generally annoying them as they tried to work. Well, Jack knew that he was annoying them, but he pretended like he had no idea and was trying to be a good leader.

By 11.30 pm everyone had gone home.

Ianto lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Outside, the wind blew in the trees and he could hear animals, the harbour and occasionally, the sound of a distant car. He could feel Jack sleeping next to him, breathing softly. He sighed. He just couldn't sleep. He was tired, sure, but his brain would not stop working. He closed his eyes and tried to drift off.

Suddenly, there was a new sound mixing in with the others...a soft growly sound, coupled with a squelchy, sticky sound of footsteps. _That's odd,_ thought Ianto._ It sounds really close to the window. I must be closer to being asleep than I thought...the footpath is at least 4 metres from the bedroom wall..._ He rolled over to face the window and his heart stopped momentarily.

It was outside his window. Watching him.

It's shiny black eyes glittered menacingly in the soft moonlight, and as he watched, it put one muddy, foul hand on the window, as though trying to make some kind of contact with him. It made a different growly noise as it swayed its head back and forth.

Ianto got out of bed and stood watching it at the window. It followed his movements with his eyes, and even in the darkness he could see a cut on its shoulder blade, oozing the same sticky, red gloop that they had found at both of the crime scenes. It had, for a monster, a slightly pitiful look about it, and it...didn't actually look that harmless..._That thing standing in front of you killed two people. And one of them was a child. It is literally a monster. Don't pity it. Wake Jack up and shoot it._

With this thought, Ianto leant over the bed and shook Jack's shoulder, none too gently. "Jack!" Ianto whispered. "Wake up!"

"Mmmm...what is it...what kind of time do you call this, Ianto! It's..." He calculated the time in his head. Ianto had no idea how, but he was fairly accurate. "...midnight!" He cracked open an eyelid. "What the hell could you possibly want?" He raised an eyebrow suggestively as he finished the sentence.

"Not that!" Ianto blushed. Jack could see his face redden in the near darkness and grinned at him. "Anyway," Ianto continued. "...look. Out the window. _Slowly._" Jack looked.

The monster was still there. It noticed them moving around and took its hand off the window, looking around furtively. They watched as it headed away from the window, in the direction of the front door. Jack and Ianto heard the lock rattle, and then a frustrated growl. There was a splintering noise as the door fell off its hinges.

Then, silence.

Jack got silently out of bed and grabbed the gun that was on the bedside table. There was a soft click as he loaded it, and he held it up near his head. He motioned for Ianto to get behind him, but Ianto was already out of bed, standing silently near the wardrobe. While this was taking place, there was a steady thump, squelch, thump, squelch of footsteps heading down the hallway, getting louder and louder.

As the doorhandle to the bedroom turned slowly, they could hear a raspy breathing, and there was a faint smell of sulphur.

The door opened with a creak and the monster stood in the doorway. Ianto could have sworn that it muttered "What the hell?" raspily, but later he told himself that it was just his imagination. It paused for a moment to take in the surroundings and then stepped forward. Jack took a step towards the monster, brandishing his gun in its face. The scene was reflected in the eyes of the monster. Then it seemed to suddenly notice the gun, and it stepped back, and started to edge its way out of the house. Jack followed it into the hallway and fired, but there was a pop noise and the monster vanished in a smoky haze. Ianto waited until the smoke cleared, but the monster was nowhere to be seen.

The bullet, it was evident, had not hit it. It had buried itself in the wall. Jack called the rest of the team and then went into the kitchen to find Ianto. He was in the kitchen of the small flat, making coffee. It was obvious that making coffee was, at least for Ianto, an automatic function, because he was staring into space and shaking slightly. Jack stood next to him for a while, watching him make the coffee. Ianto only noticed him when he turned, coffees in hand.

"Oh! I didn't notice you!" he said, handing him a coffee.

"Well, I figured as much. What's up?"

"Nothing, I'm completely fi-"

"Bullshit. You didn't notice my presence. _My_ presence. Something's wrong." Jack slurped the foam off the top of the coffee.

"Well..." Ianto began. "Before I woke you up, I was watching the monster."

Here Jack raised his eyebrows. Not suggestively, but in a kind of sceptical 'what-do-you-_mean_-watched?' way.

Ianto continued. "Well, I couldn't sleep. And then, I heard a strange growl sound. So I rolled over to face the window. And...it was just...there. So I got up, and I watched it for a bit. And it watched me. It put its hand on the window, Jack!" He said the last sentence in an almost pleading tone. When Jack said nothing, he kept talking.

"It didn't seem to be dangerous! Well, as un-dangerous as a monster with its hand on your window in the middle of the night can be. But then I realised that it killed people. Not to mention-a child. So I woke you up." Now his tone was defensive. Still, Jack said nothing. Ianto put his cup on the kitchen bench and crossed his arms. "Are you mad at me for some reason?"

Jack, too, put his cup on the bench. "No. Just...surprised. That you, one of the most...well, you're not exactly one to show emotion much, are you? And there you are, getting more tender with a monster than you do with me!" He grinned. Ianto's face flushed and he looked away again. Without saying another word, Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto and they stood there for about 5 seconds, before they heard footsteps, and voices.

"Should we knock?" Tosh, ever polite.

"Um, look at the door. There isn't one. Good luck with making noise on an invisible, imaginary door, Tosh." Owen. You could tell by the grouchy tone.

"You two are hopeless...Oi! Jack! Ianto! What's happening! Is the monster still here! Where are you guys?" Gwen yelled as she walked through the doorway.

Jack and Ianto broke apart, and Jack was about to yell back, when her head popped around the doorway into the kitchen.

"Oh, good. You're in here. Monster gone?" When Jack shrugged and made a 'well-I-don't-know...have-you-seen-it-recently?' face, she turned and called back down the hall to Tosh and Owen. "Hey, you two! Quit bickering about the lack of door and get in here!"

As they all stood in the kitchen, Ianto looked at Jack, and Jack looked at Ianto. Ianto opened his mouth and began to tell the others what had happened.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_Bet you didn't see __**that**__ coming, hey? Surprise! Hehe._

_I was having trouble with the plot and then I came up with that! Ah...must be all that exam stress. I hate exams. So bad. And now, I'm having plot difficulties again. Hmm...noideaitis? I know that it doesn't actually exist as a documented medical condition...but it should. It is story-threatening! Hehe. Seriously, all I can think of is the song from the (awesomely epic) game, Robot Unicorn Attack. 'Always, I want to be with you, and make believe with you, and live in harmony harmony, oh love!' So damn annoying. But awesome. And a warning: (cos I'm nice, unlike my friend who didn't give me a 'warning, this game is super-addictive' warning). If you are going to Google it and play it, it's super addictive! Hehe._

_Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou to all you readers! *smiles* And to all my reviewers, especially TV-a-holic and AmberHarkness! You guys are making me smile!_

_And also a huge thanks to my buddies NoDuckPond, AmberHarkness, Gormagon_loves_Tiva and Hana! You are the most awesome story support team ever!_

_(and for those of you who were wondering *wink wink* if borborygmus is actually a real word...it is. I did not spend 2 hours revising for my science exam to tell you the wrong word ;D)_


	8. And we shall call it Bob

_I'm done exams! *sigh of relief* So I might update slightly more! Yay! to all you people reviewing! Especially TV-a-holic and AmberHarkness! I'm sorry that this chapter is kind of short, I've been suffering from a mild case of ideas block. Knowing me, I'll get an excellent idea at a ridiculous time-like midnight, or something. Aah, well. It's still an idea!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Torchwood. Not that I wouldn't like to._

**Chapter 7:** And we shall call it Bob.

Tosh, Owen and Gwen stood, listening to Ianto's tale. Jack occasionally butted in with trivial details, or comments on how manly he was ("Oh, I was so close to shooting it, Tosh." "But how did you have a gun?" "Oh, I always sleep with a gun near me." [There was an implied 'because I'm sooooo manly.']).

Back at the Hub, Tosh had enough information from their combined descriptions, and the vague ones they got from the parents of the small child, to put into the system and make the Torchwood, alien equivalent of an Identikit. Owen looked at the printout of the monster and raised his eyebrows. "This...thing...looked human to you? Were you on something?"

Ianto sighed and before he could come up with a good response, Tosh piped up from where she was sitting, swivelling on the chair at her desk. "We should give it a name. It sounds better to say that you're...finding...something with a name than just...something."

"Like...what, Tosh? Bob?" Owen said sarcastically.

"I don't know, guys, but until we can narrow it down some more...Bob sounds good." Jack appeared out from his office, where he had been reading results.

"Bob...is an excellent name for a 3 metre tall, man-eating/killing, grumpy monster from another planet." Ianto's face remained expressionless, with no hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Bob it is." Gwen said, as Owen glared at her, irritated that they were taking his sarcasm seriously to annoy him. Gwen smirked at him, and Jack and Ianto laughed. Even Tosh was smiling behind her computer screen.

"You guys suck. I'm going to get some pizza." Before anyone could poke any more fun at the grumpy medic, he left.

Later, as the team sat around the meeting table, eating the pizza and drinking coffee, Gwen's phone rang. Owen lifted his head off his arms and sleepily watched her take the call. Tosh yawned and sipped her coffee, her dark brown eyes observing everything carefully. Ianto sat silently opposite Jack, swapping looks.

"Right." Gwen pressed the 'end call' button and slid her phone shut. "There's been a sighting. It (here she sighed)...I am not seriously calling it Bob. Anyway, it's been sighted on a property." In response to the teams quizzical looks she shook her head. "It's not doing anything, apparently. Just hanging around. It scared the living daylights out of the man's daughter, she went running into the house, screaming, the whole shebang. So the parents rush out. And then, well, the father called the police, who called me. We might have to Retcon the whole family."

"Right," Jack said, in his best 'I'm-the-leader' voice. "Tosh, Ianto. Stay here. Gwen and Owen, you're with me." Gwen and Owen hurried off to get their stuff, and Tosh cleared up the dishes.

Ianto merely stood and looked at Jack in surprise and obvious confusion. "Look. It already came to your house and tried to kill you today. I'm not letting it get that close to you again. I don't want you getting hurt. Or worse."

Ianto's face softened. "Okay. But, I will point out to you that it didn't try to kill me until it saw you." He raised his eyebrow in an 'I've-just-won-our-argument' way.

Jack smiled at the Welshman and headed out of the room. Calling over his shoulder, he said, "Well, maybe it was jealous. I mean, how many other people get a sexy Welshman who can also make killer coffee?"

Ianto chuckled to himself as he walked off to find Tosh.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_For those of you who don't know what an Identikit is, it's used by police to create computer-generated images of suspects or missing people. Mmhmm. It exists. :D_

_Crime show knowledge again! ;D_

_I'm going to try and update again soon. _

_Thankyou to all my readers! And also to you, if you reviewed! Reviews make me fuzzy on the inside and smiley on the outside...and I like smiling, so keep reviewing!_


	9. You can sit on my lap

_Woohoo! Another chapter! I was right, I woke up (completely-I couldn't get back to sleep at all...) at like 6.20 this morning and I had an idea. So I wrote it down. :D_

_**Warning: **__Owen + monster= swearing. Don't say I didn't warn you! :D_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't even own the characters' left toenails or anything...*sad face*_

**Chapter 8**-"You can sit on my lap if you want..."

The SUV pulled up outside the house. As they got out, Owen whistled.

"Whoa. These people have gotta be loaded...check out the house!"

The house in question was large, and spread out. The garden was immaculately set out and maintained, and the stone footpath was clean and even. Jack went first up the path, and knocked loudly on the door. There was no reply. Jack went to knock again when Tosh interrupted him.

"Um, Jack? There's a doorbell." Tosh smiled at him, leant over and pressed the small button. They could hear a bell ring throughout the house, then the sound of footsteps approaching. A well dressed and worried looking woman opened the door.

"Torchwood," Jack said, holding up his ID. "May we come in?" The woman nodded and ushered them inside. They stood in the hallway, looking the house up and down.

"Well, this way. Just follow me." The woman, who had an American accent, walked down a long hallway that flowed into a large, well-lit sitting room. In the room was a man, with his arm around and comforting a younger girl of about 15.

As Jack, Tosh and Owen entered the room, he sat the girl down on the lounge and walked over to the team, saying "Pleased to meet you. My name's Tom Baker and this is my wife Marie and daughter Emile." He, like his wife, had an American accent. Marie, who had just brought a tray with some tea and cups on it into the room, set it down on the table and smiled at them. Emile sat on the couch, looking frightened and as if she had recently been crying.

"Thankyou," Tosh said. "But before we have some tea, I think we should probably deal with the...thing that you reported?" She looked at Owen meaningly while she said this, as he had just sat on the lounge and let out a loud sigh. He glared at her.

"Ah, yes," Tom said. He didn't seem to notice the death stare on Owen's face. "Come with me. You've got...well, are you armed?" When Jack nodded, they followed him through the large French doors leading onto a deck. He stepped onto another well-kept path, and led them into the middle of their lawn. There was a large, sparkling pool in the right corner, and the other side had a vegetable garden down the fence, leading to a grove of trees, like a small forest. He pointed to the wood and said "It's in there. That little wood is on our property, and Emilie likes to go and pick the flowers that grow there, they're beautiful, our gardener does a fantastic job...anyway, she was in there, and...it, for want of a word, was in there." He shuddered. "Good luck. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going inside." He turned and hurried inside the house.

Jack turned to face Owen and Tosh, who shrugged. Owen pulled out his gun, and Tosh followed. They headed into the trees. It was cooler under the shade, and the sunlight filtered through the leaves, filling the area with soft, green tinted light. The ground was covered in little clumps of purple, blue, pink and yellow flowers, and the trees had soft jade coloured moss on their trunks.

"Well, I can see why she likes it in here. It certainly is beautiful..." Tosh said, looking around.

"Tosh," Owen said, drawing her attention away from their surroundings. "May I remind you that we are on the hunt for a monster? Not the best time to admire the scenery."

Tosh nodded and they headed deeper into the wood. As they got closer to where the monster supposedly was, there was a soft growly noise, like the one that Ianto had heard outside his window. Jack put his finger to his lips, and they silently edged closer. Even though they weren't that far from the where the wood started, the trees were clumped thicker together and the leaves blocked out nearly all the sunlight. There was a little clearing with a bench in it, and as they came out from behind the trees, they could see the monster sitting on it. Jack, having already seen it, was less repulsed by the creature than Owen and Tosh.

"Fuck!" swore Owen softly. "What the shit is that?"

Tosh just looked slightly nauseous and shook her head.

The monster heard them and sprung up. It turned, a wild look in its dark eyes.

Jack stepped forward, gun loaded and held at the ready.

"Nice. Send the un-dying man first. Great tactic. That'll work!" Owen said, half sarcastic, half serious.

"Owen," Jack said without taking his eyes off the monster. "You've got something tranquilising-y on you, right?"

Owen felt around in his jacket pocket before pulling a small box out. "Yeah, why? Why don't we just kill it?"

"Because I'm the handsome captain and I said so. Do you think that the dart you've got will be enough to knock this out?"

"Maybe. I've got two, so if at first it doesn't succeed, I'll try, try again." Owen sighed and loaded the knock out bullet in his gun. He shot the monster above where the heart on a human would normally be. Instead of puncturing the skin, it hit the surface, and then was...absorbed by the thing's skin, like a tissue being dropped into a pond. Within seconds of this happening, the creature fell and hit the ground with a surprisingly soft thud.

"Do you think it's knocked out, or should I shoot it again?" Owen stepped forward cautiously.

"Well, Mr Medical Expert, you tell me." Jack raised an eyebrow at Owen, who glared at him then leant forward guardedly to examine it. After a few minutes he stood up.

"Nah, it's dead to the world. For about half an hour or so, I should think. Hand me some rope or something...we should tie it's arms up anyway...just in case."

Tosh nodded at him then turned and disappeared in the direction of the house. In a few minutes she returned, with a large quantity of rope and the nervous husband, who was holding some tarp.

"I thought we could tie it up and use the tarp as a stretcher and a cover for it." She handed the rope to Jack and Owen, who tied it's legs and arms together, then rolled it in the tarp and with Tom's assistance (now that he was satisfied it wasn't going to devour him), carried it back through the forest and laid it across the back seat of the SUV.

"Um, Jack?" Owen said as he closed the side door. "You know that there are only 2 seats in the front, right?"

Jack turned and smiled at him. "Well, then, you're just going to have to sit on Tosh's lap, aren't you?" He climbed into the front driver's seat and motioned for Tosh, who was saying goodbye to the family, and instructing them to use the 3 small Retcon pills she handed them. "Unless, of course, you want Tosh to drive, and you can sit on _my_ lap." He laughed.

"Why are you sitting on Jack's lap?" Tosh joined in the conversation, looking puzzled.

"I'm not. Look, there's only 2 seats, so you're going to have to...share...with me." Owen went red and glared at Jack.

Tosh looked at Jack, who was still laughing at Owen. She blushed and then smiled at Owen, saying, "Well, the quicker we get back, the more time we have in the car before the monster wakes up...come on."

Owen sighed exasperatedly and got in the passenger seat, wriggling uncomfortably as Tosh sat on him.

"Stop squiggling. I've got to do the seatbelt up!" Tosh looked at Owen, who looked out of the window. Jack was watching the two, laughing at the grumpy doctor's embarrassment. Owen looked back from the window, saw him and tetchily told him to hurry up and drive.

_Author's Ramblings:_

_Hehe. I like this chapter...kind of. I think the next couple of chapters should be slightly better. While I was writing this, I'm listening to trock, (an awesome musical genre-Time Lord rock...) so I kept accidentally writing song lyrics...I had to rewrite the ' "Um, Jack?" Owen said as he closed the side door. "You know that there are only 2 seats in the front, right?" ' bit about 4 times! Cos it kept ending up like ' "Um, Jack?" Owen said as he closed the side door. "You know that Davros was like no, come hang in my vault, boogie!", or 'Um, Jack?" Owen said as he closed the side door. "I'll sing you to your sleep! The Time Lord's returning, the Earth will be burning, the last White Point Star is a trap for the Master! The Doctor is dying, the Doctor is dying, the Doctor is dying and I don't want to go!" *sighs* (in case you didn't know what songs they were from-i.e. you're a normal human and not a super-nerd like me, they're from Journey's End-Chameleon Circuit and The Doctor Is Dying by Alex Day...so catchy.)_

_Aargh, homework! Even though yearlies are done, the teachers are like, 'Oh, your marks. Now with a complimentary side of HOMEWORK!' Grrr. So until the holidays, I might not get much time to update. ;S_

_And also, I'm not really even doing homework as I am watching Hetalia-World Series like mad. I love Sweden and Prussia sooooo much! *sighs* My love is so great that in my History and Elective History classes I call the countries by their Hetalia character's human names! (I call England Iggy and America Alfred, ect.) Oops._

_Thankyou to all of you people reading! I love you all in a completely non-creepy way!_

_And thankyou also to all my reviewers! I'll keep writing so please keep reviewing!_


	10. Like a teddy bear

_I finally updated! Yay! Ideas block is a bitch!_

_**Warning:**__ There is Owen in this chapter. So, some very mild swearing. Hehe._

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Torchwood. Or Ianto. Or Jack. Or even Owen._

**Chapter 9**- Like a teddy bear...*aww*

"Hey, Ianto?" Jack said, activating his earpiece, which blinked blue.

"Yes, Jack? What is it? Did you get it?" came the voice of Ianto through the earpiece.

"Yeah, we did. And when we get back, which should be in about...15 or so minutes," he said, checking his watch, ", we're going to need some help getting it into a cell."

"You didn't...kill it?" Ianto's voice rose almost imperceptibly, and Jack (knowing Ianto well) knew that he was worried.

"Don't worry. It's heavily sedated. I set Owen on it." Jack turned and looked at Owen, who now had his arms wrapped around Tosh's waist and was holding her hands, acting like an extra seatbelt. He looked at Jack and narrowed his eyes, annoyed at both the remark and also at the grin on Jack's face. Tosh was asleep, her head resting on the top of Owen's. The monster, which had stirred a while ago, at least until Owen had found some more tranquiliser, and with Jack's help, put it to sleep again, was still asleep, and every now and again it moaned, growled or sighed softly.

"Oh, okay. It's not gonna surface for a long time, then. You guys are going to want some coffee, right?" Jack could hear Ianto getting up out of a chair somewhere, and then footsteps.

"Yeah. Owen and Tosh probably want some too. Thanks. See you in 10 minutes." Jack switched his earpiece off and looked at Owen, who was still holding Tosh like a small child with a teddy bear.

"That was Ianto-"  
"I hadn't figured." Owen interrupted sarcastically.

Jack glared at the doctor. "As I was saying, that was Ianto. He's gonna help us offload the, well, whatever it is. And make some coffee." He raised an eyebrow at Owen, who was looking at the road ahead of them, absentmindedly stroking Tosh's hand. He turned to look at Jack, realised what he was doing, stopped and began to scowl again.

"Yeah, whatever. I just want this car trip to end." Owen grumbled, as Tosh sighed and shifted slightly in her sleep. Jack grinned.

As Owen began to angrily tell Jack to 'shut up!' from the back seat there was a soft growl as the monster slept on.

After they had pulled up and Tosh and Owen had disentangled themselves (Tosh's earring got caught in Owen's shirt, much to their embarrassment and amusement of everyone else), they gently lifted the monster, which weighed about as much as a human, and carried it down to the cells. They put the sleeping monster into one of the spare cells (Janet the Weevil looked at it very strangely and shuffled to the other side of her cell, away from it, whining like a scared puppy), then headed up to the main area. Ianto handed everyone a cup of boiling hot, freshly made coffee and while they drank, they discussed what tests they could run on the monster to determine what it was.

"I think I could sample DNA and compare it to other related species on file..." Owen said.

"Didn't we already do that, though?" Gwen said, scrunching her forehead up in thought.

"Yeah, but we only had a small sample, and it wasn't...clean-it had other DNA and material mixed up in it. We might be able to get a clearer profile for the system to compare."

"It's worth a shot," said Jack. "I mean, at least then we can classify it, kind of."

"But who's going to take the sample?" said Ianto. "Even after Owen attacked it with tranquilisers, which may I add, beginning to wear off now, it was still slightly conscious. And unconscious or not, I wouldn't touch that thing with a 10 million foot pole." He raised his eyebrows at the rest of the team, who instantly looked at Owen in a 'it's-decided' way.

"Hey! What the shit? Why are you all ganging up on me? I'm not doing it!" Owen protested loudly, almost sloshing the coffee down his shirt.

"Well, you've already...attacked it. So, you...know where it's weak spots are? And, Owen? Watch out for the coffee. You wouldn't want to have to change your shirt again, would you?" Ianto smiled smugly at him.

Owen stood, opening and closing his mouth, apoplectic with rage, yet having no good comeback for Ianto's argument.

"Fine. But," he said, grabbing Jack's sleeve in one hand and the medical/forensic kit in the other, "undying man is coming too."

Jack shrugged as Owen pushed him in the direction of the cells.

"Not the first time I've been ordered around by a man," he said, turning his head so the team could see him raise his eyebrows suggestively. Ianto's face remained deadpan and he collected up the empty cups onto a tray, taking them to wash up. Tosh and Gwen exchanged looks and went to watch the drama unfold on the surveillance camera screens.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_Hehe. I just wanted an excuse to use the word 'apoplectic'-which is my favourite word ever ever ever- and I also wanted to call Jack the 'undying man'. Hehe._

_Sorry for the massive gap in updates...I've had __**massive**__ lack of ideas. But, hey, I'm updating now! *grins sheepishly* So don't be mad! :D_

_The next couple of chapters should be up soon. I am trying to figure out what to do with the monster. Got ideas? Review~!_

_Oh, and for those of you who like NCIS -my buddies are writing fanfics. Look up 'Always, I want to be with you' by GormagonlovesTiva, and the other one is something to do with Tiva drabbles, so just look up AmberHarkness and click on the NCIS story (i.e. not the Bones/Big Bang Theory one...). I'm plugging their stories as they watch TW and have been super super super helpful with my stories. So, thanks, guys! (You know who you are~!)  
Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou to __**you**__, for reading!  
And also, thankyou to all you who are reviewing! You make me happy happy happy!_


	11. Protect my assets!

_I know, I know! Long time, no update. (this was for a few reasons, actually. Mainly due to Christmas, New Year/my birthday and the fact my internet's like 'Oh, Happy Christmas! My present to you all: have some EPIC FAIL! Have a nice holiday season, suckers!" but you don't really care that my internet is insane, do you?)_

_**Warning:**__ Swearing. Well, obviously. Owen is a character, so...that's a no-brainer._

_**Disclaimer: **__I actually don't own Torchwood, it's characters, or the Doctor Detector. (heh, "Wow, it's a...hand...in a jar...Cool!") Man, I've gotta get me one of those._

Chapter 10: Gotta protect those assets!

"You know, if you wanted me on my own, Owen, you could've just asked." Jack said, winking, as Owen dragged him towards the vaults.

Owen let go of his sleeve.

"You...ugh!" Owen gave him a death stare.

Jack smiled, and took the medical kit from him. "Come on, or I'll make you do it." Owen caught up. Quickly.

They reached the vaults. Owen gestured for Jack to go first.

"Well, hurry up. We don't have all day, you know."

"Very funny, Owen. You're lucky I don't have my stun gun...Oh! That reminds me!" Jack turned and bolted in the direction of his office.

"I'll be back in a minute or so. Get the sampler ready!" drifted back from the stairs.

"A minute or so...as if...typical Jack...he's probably gone to powder his face or something...as if my shitty day couldn't get any worse...oh, fuck!" Owen grumbled, as the kit's lock jammed. He banged it up and down on the floor, cursing. "Open, you piece of shit! Open! Open! Open! Fucking piece of _crap_! OPEN!" he shouted with each thump.

"My, my. What a foul mouth you have, my dear, cranky medic." Jack was back.

Owen looked up, and raised his eyebrows. "What the shit is that?"

Jack was wearing what resembled a welding mask.

"Oh, this? It's a face mask. You see, my face is my second biggest asset, after my...uh, never mind," Jack wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Owen rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you could work that out for yourself...and anyway...It's one of my assets, and I've gotta protect _mon visage_. Something you clearly don't value yourself, judging by your appearance." He gestured towards Owen's unshaven face and the rings under his eyes. "Late night, Owen?"

"Shut the hell up, and get the damn sample, Jack."

"Fine, fine, Mr. Melodramatic, don't go ballistic on me." Owen handed him the sampler, the sterile tube and also a fairly large hypodermic needle.

"Uh, what's the needle for?"

"A blood sample, 'captain'. Duh!" He put about 3 syllables worth of emphasis on the 'uh'. Owen unlocked the door.

"Ready, Jack?" Serious face this time.

"Go for it, Owen." Smiling.

Owen twisted the key, and opened the door. Jack slipped in with the elegance and grace of a cat burglar. Owen shut the door behind him, locking it.

"Hey! What the hell'd you lock me in for, you dipstick?" Jack said angrily, not taking his eyes off the monster now less than a metre from his 'precious visage'.

"Oops, force of habit. Sorry." said Owen, not very sorry-sounding at all.

"Well, if it puts even a scratch on me, I'll kill you myself."

Gwen and Tosh were watching the dramatics unfold from the safety of the computer monitor. Although, it did have disadvantages. There was no sound, and you couldn't see some of the corridor. But as they were focused on the cell, it didn't really matter.

"What is Jack holding a needle for?" Gwen said, looking at Tosh.

"Uh, blood sample. That not only allows us to examine it's blood under a microscope, but it may have a useful purpose later." Tosh said, in one breath.

"Like what? Spare tomato sauce?" Gwen said, laughing.

Tosh looked at her with a disgusted face, although she too was laughing. "That's disgusting...ew!"

"Mmhmm..." Gwen said, yawning. "When they're done, give me a yell. I'm gonna go take a nap on the couch." Gwen got up.

Tosh sighed to herself and then took out her phone. She'd got some pictures of the monster, and she typed up a description into a document. She took the USB port connector out of her desk drawer and connected her phone up. A box popped up, querying as to whether she'd like to 'download or upload files'. She uploaded the pictures of the monster to the computer, then opened the scanning program she'd created, like the Torchwood equivalent of the facial-recognition program used by police. Setting it to scan, she settled in for a long wait.

Owen snatched the DNA sample tube and blood sample off Jack the second he stepped out of the cell. Although slightly dirtier and crumpled-looking, with his usually fairly neat hair in a scrambled mess, Jack was unharmed, and his face remained intact.

"Well, my dear Owen, I'll have to wait for another opportunity to end your life early." Jack said, studying his reflection carefully in the reflection on the glass plate usually used for mixing pH tests. Owen took that off Jack as well, scowling. He put the samples in the metal case, carefully, and slammed it shut, slouching angrily up the hall towards his workspace.

Jack sighed, and headed off to find Ianto. He was going to need a new shirt, a bucket of water and a hair comb.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_Hello! I hope all of you had a happy Christmas/ New Year/ any other celebrations that may or may not have taken place where you're at. Thankyou for reading. Even after such crappy updating (sorry!). Did you like this chapter? *cups ear* Sorry, what? I can't hear you...you'd better review~!_

_Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou to you readers...you are truly cool. _

_And thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou to my reviewers! Your reviews have been totally awesome...thanks for the good vibes! It makes me squiggly on the inside to know that you guys like my story! :D_


	12. Ancient Relatives

_Hello, again! I hope that your holidays (if you're on them, like me, if not...your lives?) are going excellently! I love holidays...so much time to write, so little ideas. (well, okay, the 'no ideas' part is a major bitch.) So, I hope you all enjoy my chapter! Review!_

_**Warning:**__ Actually, apart from Owen, there is no swearing in this chapter. And Owen only says 'shit.' So, yeah._

_**Disclaimer:**__ Torchwood, is sadly not mine. *sobs* However, that doesn't mean that I'm not open to offers from Russel. T. Davies. (Come on, dude, seriously! I would be willing to take Ianto's pinky finger or something!)_

Chapter 11: Ancient Relatives

Tosh sat at her desk, spinning on her chair. Her phone was connected to the computer by a long cord and the box on the screen pinged, indicating that the files and description had uploaded successfully to the program she was running. The program that she had made to match it with similar or the same species. The Torchwood, alien version of a facial recognition program. She drummed her fingers casually on the desk and sipped a cup of hot coffee (freshly made by Ianto. "Here. I thought that it could help you think.") while she waited. With the thousands of descriptions, pictures and other information in the system, it could take a while to find even a distant match. I don't think that even Jack has come across something like this before...so it's doubtful that I'll get a match. Oh, well, worth a try. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear Jack come up behind her. She sighed, now tapping out a spirited drum solo.

Jack tapped her shoulder lightly. "Found anything, Tosh?"

Tosh jumped, almost spilling coffee down her shirt. She spun around on her chair, then almost spilling coffee on Jack's clean, dry shirt.

"Hey, watch it! We don't want to ruin any more shirts than Owen already has, okay?" Jack smiled. Owen, who was passing on his way back to his workstation, scowled and muttered something about expensive shirts.

Tosh smiled sheepishly "Sorry. What were you saying? I kind of...zoned out for a bit there."

"Uh, I was asking whether you'd found anything. But I don't need to ask, because looking at the computer, it's still...searching. Looks like it could be a while." Tosh nodded. Jack looked like he was about to turn and walk off when he noticed the half-full cup of coffee on her desk.

"Hey. (he pointed to the cup) Ianto make you more coffee?" Jack looked slightly miffed.

"Oh, sorry, sir. I didn't know what you were doing. I'll make you some right now." Ianto said, shutting the lid of the medical kit experimentally, after having spent 10 minutes trying to fix the broken locks. It sat nicely, and the locks clipped shut with a small 'click'.

He looked at Jack, who was watching him silently.

"What, Ianto? Waiting for orders? Coffee, stat!" He snapped his fingers and made a shooing motion with his hand. Ianto nodded and went off, collecting Tosh's now-cold cup for a refill on his way.

Owen called from his computer. "Hey, guys. The DNA got no close species matches. It's probably an unknown. And there's no other tests that I know of to run on it. Well, we know it's alive, and alien, and that's about it. And I am not taking that thing's pulse just to check!"

"Hey, Owen?" Tosh called back. Owen was walking up to her desk, and she turned to face him as she heard his approaching footsteps.

"Mmm?"

"I'm assuming that you made a model of the DNA and analysed the-"

"-blood sample, yeah. Don't ask," he said, as Tosh opened her mouth. "I've already sent them to you." As he finished his sentence, the email on Tosh's computer pinged and she had the files downloaded and running through the system in about twenty seconds.

"Wow, you're fast." Owen said, staring at Tosh. She blushed.

"It's nothing, just...practice. And Ianto made me coffee, lots of coffee. I'm beginning to think he put energy drink or something in it." Tosh smiled at Owen.

Owen grinned. "Sounds like something Jack would do, though...actually, that's not a bad idea. I'm gonna go ask Ianto to try that out. He's probably already made a coffee-flavoured energy drink...he's just waiting for the patent to come through. Good luck with your genius scan program thingy...I have no idea how you come up with these things..." He winked at Tosh, who blushed a deeper shade of red, and walked off.

Twenty minutes later the team (except for Ianto) was gathered around the meeting table.

"Bloody hell, where the shit is Ianto? I need coffee!" Owen grumbled.

"Shut up, Owen. Want coffee so much? Simple solution: learn to make it yourself!" Gwen shot back, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She'd fallen into a deep sleep, and was only woken when Ianto dripped icy water on her neck, before going off to make coffee. (including Owen's 'coffee/energy drink')

Jack smiled at the two of them in his 'I'm-the-leader!" way and said "Now, now, kiddies. No fighting. Play nicely. And Gwen, think of what Owen's coffee would taste like." He scrunched up his face. "Horrible. Just horrible. It would be so strong that one sip would keep you up for weeks (not that I'd mind that...) and, anyway, it'd be generally...ew." He made a 'yuk!' face.

"From what I'd heard, you like strong things that keep you up for weeks." Owen said.

"True," Jack said, winking at Gwen, who rolled her sleepy eyes. "But, I still think that Ianto's coffee is better." He looked at Owen, who crossed his arms and glowered at him.

Before anyone could say anything else, Ianto walked through the door, holding a silver tray laden with cups. A strong aroma of coffee filled the room.

"Aah, good. What on Earth took you so long?" Jack said to Ianto.

"Oh, sorry about that." Ianto looked apologetic. "Owen said 'Oh Ianto, coffee master and ruler of the machine, can you please make me a super coffee?' and me, being the so called 'coffee master' had to agree."

"Flattery is your weak point." said Jack with a deadpan face.

Ianto winked at him, and handed out cups. Owen's coffee had a slightly green tint to it. Owen smelled it, shrugged and thanked Ianto.

"It's just food colouring. Otherwise it looked really dodgy, and I couldn't tell which one was yours. Uh, you should be super careful not to spill any, 'cos, you know, food dye!" He smiled at Owen's 'angry face'. He then sat down with his own, facing Tosh expectantly. She was standing next to the projection of her laptop monitor. Various windows filled the screen, blinking. She double-clicked on one. It was the program she had been running on the picture of the alien. There was a quiet 'ping!' and a small red popup box had come up: 'Match Found'. The team's attention immediately centred on the screen.

"Okay...'Match Found'...what does that mean?" Owen looked at Tosh, who was clicking on various links and pulling up information.

"Well, in my experience, 'Match Found' indicates that the computer has found a match, Owen." Gwen said, sipping her coffee. Owen glared at her, too, but before he could snap back, Jack cut in.

"What was the match, Tosh?"

Tosh sighed, and pulled up the search results. A small box appeared, indicating that a password was required. Tosh typed it in, fingers a blur. Owen shook his head, smiling slightly over the rim of his cup. The document popped up. Jack read it aloud.

"There's a match with a similar species. Apparently the creature living it up in our vaults is a relative of a...minotaur?"

The team looked at each other. The relative of an ancient creature from an ancient myth, in 21st century Cardiff? It didn't seem possible.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_Well, well, well...developments! Hehe. Next chapter, most is explained!_

_Liked this chapter? (or any of them really, I'm not really fussy) You'd make me happy if you reviewed!_

_Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou for reading! You are awesome! (better believe it, too!)_

_Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou if you re-viewed! I loooooooooove reviews! Reviewers are a special kind of awesome...the kind that makes me and my frontal and temporal lobes happy. (In case you didn't know, they are the parts of the brain associated with language, the formation of complex ideas, speech ect. Thank them for this fanfic, as they are the ones that put in the hard work!)_


	13. But really, Minoans

_Bonjour again! The first sentence of this chapter is the last spoken line of the previous chapter, so just...yeah. You'll figure it out. And I just want to say: MINOANS! Buahahaha!_

_**Warning:**__ Unless you are somehow allergic to Minoans or Ianto's excellent accent, this chapter is for you!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Torchwood. Or Ianto's glorious, handsome, brilliant, lovely, magnificent Welsh voice. *sighs* Oh, how I wish I did. Sooooo much. ;3_

Chapter 12: "But really...Minoans?"

"...a...Minotaur?" said Jack.

"That's not possible. Minotaurs are...myth. Ancient Greek myth, to be exact." Gwen said, all traces of sleep gone with this latest development.

Owen sighed. "For those of us not taking Advanced Snob at the University of Uppity, what's a minotaur?"

Ianto answered before anyone else. "There's an island off the coast of Greece, called Crete. I presume that you've all heard of it. Popular holiday destination...anyway. Legend tells us that the Greek god Zeus fell in love with a beautiful princess called Europa. He turned into a bull and swam to Crete with the princess on his back. Zeus' son was the legendary King Minos, who was said to have ruled over this island, as well as the rest of the Aegean. He had a son, Androgenus, who was, according to the myth, a strong, athletic kind of guy. He went to the Athenian games, representing Crete, and won lots of medals. This, of course, injured the pride of the Athenian King, who killed Androgenus, because he was so jea-"

"Does this story have a point, or is it just hours of mindless prattling?" Owen interrupted.

"Shut up!" said the rest of the team in unison, who were listening intently. Jack gibbsslapped Owen, and then motioned for Ianto to continue. He placed his cup on the table and continued his story, his Welsh voice filling the room.

"...because he was so jealous. When King Minos heard of his son's death, he was filled with grief and rage, understandably. He sent the mighty Cretan fleet to Athens. They captured the city, but didn't destroy it, as the Athenian king expected. Instead King Minos declared that every nine years, the king of Athens had to send seven young men and seven young virgin women to Crete. You see, there was a labyrinth under Knossos, the 'capital', if you like, of Crete and the Minoan civilisation, (aptly named after King Minos, but that's another story), and in this labyrinth lived the Minotaur, a foul and dangerous creature with the body of a man and the head of a bull. This creature was fed the young people sent over from Athens as sacrifices. Thesus, who was the Athenian king's son, volunteered to be one of the seven young men, with the intention of killing the Minotaur, and thus ending the suffering of Athens. He arrived at King Minos' palace, and Minos' daughter, Ariadne, fell in love with him. She helped Thesus defeat the Minotaur, by giving him a ball of string."

"Hah! String! To defeat a 'mighty monster'!" Owen scoffed.

"Shut the hell up, or I swear to God, I'm gonna find some duct tape, and you won't like what happens next!" Gwen said with a stare that would have sunk the Titanic. Owen again fell into a black, grumpy silence.

"This string was the key to Thesus' survival. When he entered the maze, he tied the string to the entrance, and threaded it along behind him. Upon finding the Minotaur, he fought it and killed it, and then led himself and the other would-be-sacrifices to safety. When he returned home, he forgot about a promise he had made to his father the King of Athens. He had agreed to change the colour of the sails on his ship from black to white if he survived. If he didn't, they were to remain black. In his excitement he forgot to change the sails. The King, his father, who was anxiously awaiting his son's return, saw the black sails, and thinking his beloved son was dead, flung himself off a cliff, into the sea, and died." Ianto finished, the last of his words seeming to hang in the air as the team slowly came back to what they were originally discussing.

"But my point exactly. It's a legend. Legend isn't real. So, there is no such creature as a Minotaur." Gwen said, sipping her coffee.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. It sure reminds me of a Minotaur, now that I think of it." Jack said, without thinking. "Sounds a lot like old Minos to me, to keep one in that ridiculous maze of his. It had a little sign, you know, on the front. Well, next to the door...entrance. Roughly translated as 'cave canem'. Funny sense of humour, that man."

The team stared.

"Oh. Right. Well, I was on a...let's call it a 'health trip' with my...Doctor, and well, we, ah, erm, happened to just 'end up' in Ancient Greece. Sooooo...my friend suggested that Knossos was the 'place to be', and we ended up there for a while."

"And your...friend, your Doctor, just happened to know the _King of Crete_?" said Tosh sceptically.

"Well, yeah. He kind of _knows_ everyone...it's hard to explain. He's a special Doctor."

"So it is real, right? This 'King Minos', the Minotaur, the maze?" questioned Gwen.

"Well, if Jack says so, then I for one believe him. And by the way? It's a labyrinth. Not a...maze..." Ianto said, slightly defensively of their captain. His captain.

"Okay. We believe you. But," said Gwen, putting her now-empty cup on the table with a gentle 'thunk'. "...we want details. So that we know you actually were there."

"Well, I can't tell you most of it...you know, Greek people, so well sculpted...it would scar your impressionable young minds for life..."

The team exchanged looks.

"But, I can tell you that the Palace of Knossos was huge, the water sparkled like diamonds, the markets were abuzz with people, Minoans, you know, and the smell of olives, wine, grain and fish..." Jack stopped talking for a moment, lost in memories.

"Alright," said Gwen, speaking for the group. "We believe you. I think that we should focus on how to deal with the thing sitting in our vaults."

Everyone nodded.

Jack spoke. "Okay. Tosh, can you put the picture and the description into that magic program of yours? And can everyone think of a solution, please, because I doubt that I'll fix this with my awesomeness alone. And Ianto, you're excused from thinking of a solution because we all need more coffee."

Ianto nodded. Jack winked at him and mouthed a 'thankyou for defending me'. Ianto nodded again, but this time it was a 'think-nothing-of-it,-sir.' nod, accompanied by an almost indiscernible wink.

Owen was still sitting with a grumpy expression on his face, although his eyes looked pensive. As Ianto collected his cup with a loud 'clink', he jolted out of his thoughts.

"But, really." said Owen, uncrossing his arms. "Minoans?"

Jack rolled his eyes at him and nodded exasperatedly.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_I would just like to dedicate this chapter to my Elective History/Minoan loving buddies, GormagonlovesTiva and AmberHarkness. I love Minoans, heh. They are really cool. And I just wanted Ianto to talk for ages, because he's so awesome, and I can totally imagine him saying that. And I have combined 2 of my favourite things...Minoans, and fanfiction, oh, and Torchwood, and Ianto, and his accent, and...that's more than 2, isn't it? Oh, well. I've combined a few of my favourite things in this chapter. Hehe._

_Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou to you readers! You are cooler than Minoans!_

_Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou (hey, you got an extra thankyou) to my reeeeeviewers! You are way cooler than Minoans! (And that's saying something, because Minoans are, really, the pinnacle of coolness.)_


	14. Action Plans!

_Ta-da! Another chapter~! Hope you like it!_

_**Warning:**__ Owen is sleep deprived and grumpy. Expect traces of mild expletives._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Torchwood, or any of its associated characters or awesomeness. *sad face*_

Chapter 13- Action Plans!

The team sat around the meeting table. The only sounds were the tapping of Tosh's fingers on her computer keyboard and the occasional 'click' of her mouse. After about twenty minutes, there was a 'ping' and Tosh shut the lid of her laptop with a soft thud.

"Well, that's done. So, uh, any ideas, guys?" she said.

Gwen looked at her vacantly, clearly thinking. Jack shook his head. Ianto shrugged and sipped his coffee. Tosh looked at Owen.

Owen had his head in his arms and was snoring softly.

Jack raised his eyebrows at Ianto, as if to say 'Should I?'. Ianto nodded. Jack leant over and clapped very loudly next to Owen's ear. He woke up with a start.

"What the hell?" he snarled. "You could have shook my shoulder instead! What the shit!" He folded his arms and gave Jack an 'if-looks-could-kill-you'd-have-died-long-ago' look. Jack smiled back.

"So, nobody has any ideas?" Tosh said. The team shook their heads.

"Why, do you?" Jack said, leaning back in his chair. Tosh nodded. "Well, what is it then?"

"Uh, I was thinking, now that my Rift Predictor is working...I upgraded it, see...and I thought that...we could, uh, predict the next spike and...well, put it...back in the Rift." She smiled uncertainly at the team.

"Put it back in the Rift?" Gwen said. Tosh nodded again. "Are you insane? If we put it back in the Rift, God knows where it could fall out again! It could fall out somewhere where they don't have a Torchwood to save them! It's crazy!" She folded her arms. Tosh shrugged.

"It was only an idea. I'm not saying that it would need to be implemented."

"Well, it's the only plan we've got so far. Can you think of a better one, save killing it?" Ianto said calmly, placing his cup on the table.

Gwen looked at Owen for backup. He shook his head.

"I agree with Ianto. May as well try. We could alert UNIT so that if it appears anywhere else, they would have a plan." Gwen glared at him darkly.

"Actually," said Jack. "I think that Tosh's idea could work. It is after all, an action plan!" Gwen glared at him, too, in an 'are-you-insane' way. Jack muttered to himself for a minute, then addressed the group.

"Okay, guys, here's what we're going to do. Tosh, predict the next spike large enough to fit our oversize guest. Owen, Gwen, Ianto, you are in charge of getting the thing there. I'm going to go and alert the police, so they don't pull us over." He stood up and left the room. Gwen stood up and followed him, complaining about the safety of the plan. Ianto was collecting up the cups. He looked at Tosh, who was standing there looking worried at the trouble her idea had caused.

"Don't worry about Gwen. She'll come round to it eventually. Cup, please." He said, comfortingly. He smiled at her as he turned to leave the room.

Owen shook his head, as though that would dislodge the sleepiness from his brain, and rubbed his eyes. He looked at Tosh, who was collecting up her equipment to take back to her workspace. She was having trouble pulling out the power cord plugged into the wall. Owen walked over and pulled it out of the plug, handing it to Tosh. She smiled gratefully at him, blushing slightly. He gave her a small smile in return, then his face returned to its grumpy, sleep deprived state.

As she followed him down the stairs, she heard him call out to Ianto. "Hey, tea-boy! Make me some coffee! Really, really, super-strong, wakey-wakey coffee! And hurry up! I don't wanna fall asleep while we're getting that thing into the SUV!"

She distantly heard Ianto say that it would be no loss if it ate him.

Two hours later, the monster had been heavily sedated by Owen, who had used a needle so large it would have sedated the entire population of Wales, plus some of London. Gwen had gingerly bound the arms and legs of the thing together, and Ianto had wrapped it in a blanket. Jack turned to Tosh.

"When's the next train to nowhere?" he said.

"Fourty-five minutes,' she replied. "About two kilometres from Cardiff Castle. It only opens for a few minutes, so you'll have to be quick." She handed Ianto the sheet of paper, which was a printed map with the location and approximate time of the spike marked. He surveyed it, nodded and said, "So who's coming with me?"

Jack stepped forward and saluted like a soldier reporting for duty.

"Captain Jack Harkness, at your service, sir!" He smiled.

Owen rolled his eyes.

"Great. Now it's turned into 'Let's-All-Try-To-Impress-Ianto Day'. Brilliant. You guys have fun, now." He turned and walked away.

"Where are you going, Mr Cheerful?" Jack called after him.

"I need sleep!" Owen called back.

"No, to help me and Ianto put this thing into the SUV, is what you need. Hurry up." Jack called back.

Owen swore, but turned to help them anyway, doing a fine demonstration of a World-Class eye-roll.

"Bloody hell. I swear," he said, gesturing to Tosh and Gwen, who were not accompanying the monster to its final destination on Earth. "If you two wake me up, I'm gonna fucking lose it."

It was Tosh's turn to roll her eyes.

"Not like we haven't seen you lose it before. I'd just lock you in a cage with a Weevil." she said.

The team looked at her in surprise.

"What?" she said.

"It's just, ah, you're normally the polite one." Jack said, raising an eyebrow at her. Owen looked mildly disturbed, but shrugged and went off to find somewhere to sleep.

"Yeah, well, I'm tired." She turned and went back to her desk.

"Sure...come on, Ianto. This thing won't fall into the Rift by itself. Especially considering that Owen was let at it with some heavy-duty tranquilisers." Ianto nodded and grabbed its ankles. Jack grabbed its shoulders, and together they went off to throw the creature into the Rift.

_**Author's Ramblings:**_

_Wow, I'm impressed with my brain. I had like no ideas for ages, and then suddenly, it was just like, BAM! Hello, ideas time! Yeah!_

_I fear, my faithful readers, that we are approaching the end! I think that this is the penultimate chapter, unless I have more ideas. (not likely, though) *sad face* I like writing this story, but I have heaps of good ideas for more Torchwood fanfics, so keep your eyes peeled! Not literally, that would be painful, disgusting and not to mention, how do you peel an eye? Wow, that was a weird sentence. Just ignore it. I'm really not usually that creepy. ;D_

_Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou to you readers!_

_And thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou to you reviewers! Want to be cool? Review! Hehe. Kidding. You're cool anyway. (but you would be even cooler if you reviewed!)_


	15. Opera, really

_Hello, for the last time, readers! (for this story anyway). Hope you like this chapter! Please, review! Nothing makes me happier! (well, okay, some things might...like watching TW, and DW!)_

_**Warning:**__ Uh, no swearing that I can remember, so don't worry. However, may contain strong traces of Janto._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I still don't own Torchwood. But I'm working on it._

Chapter 14-Opera, really?

Jack and Ianto pulled up at the spot Tosh had marked on the map. It was a small grassy area, with a few trees and a bench.

"What do you think, Ianto?"

"Looks good to me." Ianto replied. He got out, putting the keys Jack handed him in his pocket. They heaved the monster out of the back seat, where it had been stretched out, fast asleep. They carried it over to the approximate spot, and Jack went back to the SUV. He returned to Ianto holding the silver travel mug that Ianto had filled with fresh coffee before they left. He took a long mouthful of the steaming liquid, then quickly put the cup down as the Rift became apparent.

Sparkly golden strings filled the small park, shifting and twisting to form a crack into which the monster could fall. Ianto, with Jack's help, gently pushed the creature forward, so the glowing strands slowly enveloped it's feet, then its legs, its arms, then finally its head, and it disappeared into the swirling orange depths. A few seconds later the strands began to fade away, and the golden light filling the park gently wisped away in the soft breeze.

Back at the Hub, Gwen said goodnight to Tosh, and shook her head at Owen, who was sleeping on the couch, snoring softly, with a pair of iPod headphones stretching to the silver device resting on the table.

"He says he needs quiet to sleep, but he's listening to...very loud rock music, judging by the noise and guttural screaming. Ah, well. See you tomorrow." She waved over her head as she left the Hub.

Tosh looked at the sleeping Owen, smiled to herself, and went back to her paperwork.

Then her curiosity started to eat away at her. _What could he possibly be listening to that loudly which would let him sleep? Surely not rock music..._ she thought._ I'm sure he won't notice if I take a quick look...I'll just need to be careful. Come on, Tosh! Think of it as a way to discover more about your co-workers._

Her mind made up, she put down the form she was filling in and tiptoed over to the sleeping medic. She turned the 'lock' function off, and the screen lit up.

Tosh stopped, looking confused.

_No, that can't be right. Owen, listening to opera? As if! I'll check again._

The screen remained displaying the same information. Song: "~"Un bel dí vedremo"-Aria from Act 2, Madame Butterfly." Artist: Giacomo Puccini.

_What?_ Tosh thought. She leaned closer to his ear, listening to the singing she could hear blaring from his earphone.

_Definitely opera. Well, there we go, she thought. You learn something new every day. I certainly wouldn't have pegged Owen as an opera buff._

Tosh resisted the urge to laugh. Instead, she picked up her coat and laptop bag, having decided the paperwork could wait until the next day. She scribbled a note to Owen on a Post-it, but made a mental note to herself to use her knowledge against him and left, giggling quietly.

Back at the park, all traces of the monster had disappeared.

"Well, that's that done." Jack said, picking up his coffee. Ianto remained, silently staring at the spot where the crack had appeared.

"What is it?" Jack asked him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I know you're thinking of something."

"Oh, I was just thinking," said Ianto, not looking at him. "That something as...gentle...as that orange light...energy-stuff could cause so much damage."

"The Rift, you mean?" Jack said.

"Yeah. But," he said, locking his deep blue eyes with the handsome captain. "It doesn't matter now. It's gone, and Torchwood can sleep soundly knowing that they have once again played the hero, saving Cardiff from yet another monster."

'Well, some of them can sleep soundly." said Jack. "Some of them may have...other things...in mind." He winked suggestively at Ianto, who rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Come on, then. If we don't get the paperwork for this one done, then we'll never get back to my house before something else happens." It was Ianto's turn to wink Jack, who wiggled his eyebrows provocatively and drank the rest of his coffee. Ianto turned and headed towards the SUV, with Jack following behind, chuckling to himself.

Author's Ramblings:

What did you think? I just wanted to end it on a nice Janto moment, me being such a massive fangirl. ;D

Don't cry! I promise to write more! Actually, a heads-up, I'm just putting the finishing touches on a new Torchwood story (I believe that I might call it 'Blackout!'-I know, right, mysterious!) so you should hear from me again soon!

Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou to you, for reading to the end! You're awesome!

Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou to my reviewers! You guys are seriously the best!


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